


Oriens Ex Cinere

by cathcer1984



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Harry is a Little Shit, Harry is a bastard, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 18:16:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13618944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cathcer1984/pseuds/cathcer1984
Summary: A new class forces Harry and Draco together but it does more bad than good, leaving one feeling hurt and alone. To top it all off something is happening to Harry and he's not sure how to stop it, or if he should.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Lavender's, Michael's Lisa's and Anthony's blood status is not mentioned in the books so I'm making them half-blood. Also I am planning for this to be multi-chaptered as in I have writer four chapters thus far and I will be putting them up weekly, so it gives me four weeks to write more or finish it! If there's anything you want to see happen let me know and I might be able to fit it in otherwise enjoy!

"Love? We have to write an essay on love?"

 

"Sweet Merlin, he's worse than Lockhart!"

Ron sniggered at Harry whilst Hermione shot them a dirty look returning her attention to the lecture.

"...muggle poem in class next week. For those that don't know muggle literature you will be partnered with someone who does, there are muggle books here for you to read and pick your poem from. I shall call the purebloods first so there is no confusion: Ernie Macmillan and Lisa Turpin, Ron Weasley and Anthony Goldstein, Gregory Goyle and Michael Corner, Neville Longbottom and Justin Finch-Fletchley, Daphne Greengrass and Terry Boot, Millicent Bulstrode and Lavender Brown, Theodore Nott and Seamus Finnegan, Pansy Parkinson and Dean Thomas, Blaise Zabini and Hermione Granger and finally; Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter."

Ron clapped Harry on the shoulder as he stood making his way to where Anthony was sitting, Harry turned to Hermione and held out his hand she took it and together they made their way to the back corner where Blaise and Draco were; making no effort to move.

Hermione kissed Harry's cheek "be nice" before she made her way to the left side of the desk where Blaise was, pulling a chair out and sitting down next to him. Harry glanced at Draco before pulling a chair around so the back faced Draco and the seat towards Harry, straddling the chair Harry put his arms over the back of it and looked at Draco.

"So."

"So?" Draco echoed.

"So, what do we do now?"

"You pick poems from these books Mr Potter and you chose one to perform to the class, you practice with your partner and you get to know your partner and if you were listening Mr Potter then you would know that the essay you write on love must include your views as well as those of your partner. So right now you discuss your definitions of love."

Harry nodded at the Professor who dropped two books on their desks before moving on, when he was out of earshot Harry's head dropped onto the desk which caused Draco to chuckle.

"Alright Potter let's get this over with, how do you define love?"

Harry groaned "why do we have to do general studies? Why make it compulsory now? We have a year left it does not matter!"

"You're avoiding the question."

Looking at Draco, Harry raised his eyebrow "sacrifice. Love is sacrifice. Your turn."

Licking his lips Draco was intrigued to see Harry's eyes follow the motion, "love is sex," Draco enjoyed the hitching breath that came from Harry, "love is passion and like you said, love is sacrifice."

Harry drew a breath to calm himself, "I think we have very different ideas about what sacrifice is, you seem to think it's giving up the role of top so your partner can top you. My idea of sacrifice is giving up your life for one person, giving everything and taking nothing in return."

Draco could help but lean forward as Harry leant in closer their eyes never leaving the other and Draco couldn't have torn his eyes away from Harry's intense green eyes. When they were so close that their noses brushed, Draco retaliated.

"Why would you waste away for someone else? Why sacrifice yourself so intensely that they get stronger as you get weaker?"

"No you see it's not mutually exclusive as you give yourself up for them, they sacrifice themselves for you and you get stronger and weaker together. You sacrifice yourself so the other will survive, and they sacrifice themselves for you, so you will survive."

Both boys were panting and their cheeks were flushed, Harry fought down the urge to kiss Draco and Draco was helpless and unable to look away as Harry's eyes slowly turned black, it seemed as if his pupil expanded so that no green remained. The skin around his mouth started to turn gold and the rest of his face a deep scarlet, Draco was so shocked he shoved himself away from Harry whose eyes widened and he stood, leaving his bag and work behind Harry ran out of the classroom.

Draco's eyes were wide with fear and shock as he stared at where Harry was, he didn't notice the whispering that shrouded the classroom nor did he notice Professor Renny shut the door behind Harry but Draco did notice the hand Blaise placed on his shoulder and he tilted his head up and looked into warm chocolate brown eyes.

Frowning, Draco felt his brain catching up, Blaise didn't have brown eyes he didn't have bushy hair either, looking down slightly he realised Blaise was beside him but Granger was in front.

"Are you alright Malfoy?"

He nodded dazedly, "I think so."

"Good. Listen Zabini can we continue this tonight? In the library?" Not waiting for Blaise to do more than nod she continued on "good, you come too Malfoy, Harry will be fine by then."

Hermione then rushed to put Harry's things in his bag before placing it over the shoulder which didn't have her bag, turning around she was at the door Ron by her side instantly and the two left together closing the door firmly behind them shutting in the excited chatter which filled the classroom.

XXXX

The Common Room is quiet as the few students who are there mope about; the majority of the house was in the library or around the grounds, they only go down to Slytherin to sleep not wanting to be associated with the Death Eaters, dark magic and dungeons.

The door opened and Draco and Blaise sauntered in, Draco tilting his head towards the boys' dorm and Pansy, Greg, Millicent and Daphne with Draco and Blaise in tow made their way up to the Seventh Year Boys Dormitory. Everybody had been held back a year due to the lack of teaching under the Carrows' reign so there was twice the amount of first years.

The six friends found purchase on each of the beds; Draco sat on his with Blaise next to him as Pansy and Daphne were on Blaise's bed whilst Greg held Millicent in his arms on his bed. Vincent's bed was untouched and empty in the corner.

They sat in silence nobody wanted to bring attention to the elephant in the room, "well what happened to Potter, Draco?"

Glaring at Daphne who chucked at pillow at him, which he held onto, Draco sighed "I don't know."

"Well what did you see?"

"His eyes. Oh sweet Merlin his beautiful green eyes turned black."

None of his friends batted an eyelid at Draco's talk of Potter being beautiful they were used to him lamenting over Potter.

"Black? Are you sure?"

"Of course he's sure Pans, they were inches away from each other. Any closer and you'd have been snogging him Drake."

Shooting a half-hearted glare Greg's way Draco just hugged the pillow closer to himself and stared at the floor. The other five exchanged worried glances, this was unusual Draco always had something to say, insulting or not.

"Maybe he changed."

"Obviously Millie, no one's the same after the war."

"No Blaise, he changed transformed. He became something not human."

It was those two words which scared Draco the most not human. His head shot up as Pansy gasped harshly.

"Vampires have black eyes. Maybe he had to leave before he could suck another student's blood."

"Don't be so stupid Pans," Draco chastised.

"Not so hasty Drake, she has a point be careful around Potter. Try not to let your dick rule your head."

Rolling his eyes and squaring his shoulders Draco stood "c'mon we should get to the library I'd like to do some homework before Potter and Granger show up."

XXXX

Harry and Hermione arrived at the library, sans Ron, to find their general studies partners surrounded by the rest of the Slytherin Seventh Years.

There was an empty chair between Draco and Pansy, Daphne next to Pansy then an empty chair and Blaise, then Millicent and Greg next to Draco completing the circle.

Raising his eyebrows Harry exchanged a look with Hermione before they moved apart to sit next to their partners.

"You alright, Potter?"

Harry turned, his wide eyes meeting Draco's calm gaze and Harry nodded. "I'm fine" he spoke a bit brusquely and winced so he softened his tone and lightly touched Draco's forearm "thank you."

Draco nodded the relief on his face not just due to the fact that Harry's eyes were green again, "shall we get this over with?"

"Right," Harry slid his hand off Draco's arm and he picked up his quill "poem or essay?"

Across the table Hermione watched the exchange with narrowed eyes.

"He won't hurt him."

"Pardon, Zabini?"

Blaise's smile was wry "Draco won't hurt Potter."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I know Draco. He, let's just say he takes an interest in Potter and hurting him is detrimental to what Draco wants."

Nodding her head her suspicious expression melted into a smile.

After an hour or so of flicking through the poetry book Harry still hadn't found anything and Pansy and Daphne's whispered argument was getting annoying.

"It's Expecto Patronum for crying out loud. It feeds off a happy memory the castor conjures in their mind and the corporeal patronus takes the form of an animal and is able to repel dementors." Huffing in annoyance Harry stood and stomped off between the shelves.

"Sorry about him, he's been a tad moody lately."

The table's inhabitants turned their attention from where Harry disappeared to Hermione, "but he is right. Ask him tomorrow and he might show you his patronus and even show you how to make one."

Hermione smiled at Draco as he slithered out of his seat and went off in the same direction Harry had.

"It happens more often Mione," Harry said and Draco thought he sounded scared.

"I'm not Hermione."

Gulping Draco stood his ground as Harry whirled around, his eyes angry so Draco held up his hands in surrender.

"Look I don't want to hurt you, but we could help. Whatever it is that happens to you I'm sure Granger has researched but she won't have our resources."

Narrowing his eyes Harry scrutinised Draco before "she's not found anything."

Draco took a step closer and put his hand on Harry's shoulder, "I'm sure she looked in the Black Library, the Parkinson and Bulstrode libraries are the same size but the Zabini and Malfoy libraries are double. We can help," he squeezed the shoulder he was holding and looked into Harry's eyes sincerity shining through.

For a moment it looked as if Harry was going to say yes but he shook his head, "just because we're working together on love doesn't mean we have to fall."

Harry pushed passed Draco, whose hand just dropped off Harry to hang limply by his side and when the footsteps had faded the words escaped his mouth whispered before he could stop them "I'm not falling Harry. I've fallen."

After a few more minutes Draco made his way back to the table he nodded to assure his friends he was fine, but they knew he wasn't. Draco glanced at Harry sadly but Harry ignored him and kept flicking through the book of poems, Daphne in an attempt to get Draco away from Harry asked "Draco? Can you help me?"

Standing from his seat Draco gracefully made his way around the back of Harry's chair and around the table to where Daphne was sitting, Draco crouched down next to her and they started talking quietly. Harry watched them from under his fringe and noticed Draco seemed sad and hurt emanated from his grey eyes when Draco looked up to catch Harry staring.


	2. Chapter 2

Late at night a few days after the study session with Potter and Granger Draco was, again, unable to sleep, he gave up trying and snuck out of his bed and eventually out of the castle. Wandering the grounds Draco came across the stark white of Dumbledore's tomb against the black grounds.

Trailing his hand along the edge of the tomb he sighed deeply, "I'm sorry Professor I know you planned for Severus to kill you to save my soul. But I don't think you understand the pain I'm in now, you don't understand the guilt I feel, you weren't meant to die neither was Sev or Lupin and his wife, nor the Weasley twin or the kid with the camera who always followed Potter around. None of that was supposed to happen-" his breath was coming in wracking sobs and Draco noticed he was not alone.

Perched at the bottom of the tomb was a phoenix. Bright red feathers covered the swan sized body, a long tail of gold feathers swayed in the light breeze, the black claws created a strong contrast to the white of the marble. The piercing black eyes scrutinised Draco who jumped when the gold beak opened and let out a squawk, Draco moved closer and held out his hand whispering in awe "Fawkes."

The phoenix cocked its head to the side and butted Draco's hand, Draco felt the heat flood through him. Feeling warm and happy Draco smiled at Fawkes, "thank you. I've never seen you before I thought you'd left after Dumbledore, I'm sorry for him by the way but I'm sure you understood more about Dumbledore than I did."

The bird had moved around the tomb so his head rested on top of Draco's his hot body against Draco's shoulder, lazily flicking his wand Draco cast a tempus charm and upon seeing it was two o'clock in the morning he heaved a great sigh, "I suppose I should go to bed now. Will I see you tomorrow Fawkes?"

The bird just looked at Draco and used its beak to pluck one of the golden feathers from his plume and dropped it into Draco's open hand. Draco held up the golden feather and gazed at it in awe when he turned to thank the phoenix he was gone, smiling Draco made his way back to the dorm where he tucked the feather safely away from his friends by placing it in his favourite book, which was then tucked under his pillow before he fell asleep with a smile on his face.

XXXX

Over the following week Draco withdrew from his friends and from Harry as they worked together on their essays, but at night. At night Draco poured out his heart, his secrets to Fawkes Draco met the bird at Dumbledore's tomb each night and he had started taking his most prized and secret possession with him; his Muggle Book.

"This is my Muggle Book, Fawkes; Father would crucio me if he knew I kept this. You see over the years I've found pages from muggle literature; Shakespeare, Byron, Whitman, Thoreau and newspaper articles anything I could get my hands on basically. You know Fawkes, muggles aren't stupid" Draco turned the page with one hand and stroked Fawkes' head with the other "-ah this is it, my favourite. I'll read it to you shall I? It's called Love and King (1):

_Wish I could put it into words  
Tell you just what it is I feel  
Put my soul into a song  
Prove to you it's real_

_Oh life would be so simple  
With a heart made out of stone  
Then love, it wouldn't rule us  
Like a King sat on his Throne_

_Wish I could simply tell you  
Show you how I feel  
Take a chance on what feels right  
Prove to you it's real_

_Oh life would be so simple  
With a heart made out of stone  
Then love, it wouldn't rule us  
Like a King sat on his Throne_

_Heartache's one step from heartbreak  
I'm aching for you, my love  
Please don't break me."_

Fawkes let out a mournful cry and Draco nodded, "yes it is a bit like that isn't it? I think it's very accurate in understanding how I feel about- well it doesn't matter Malfoy's do not fall in love and Malfoy's definitely do not fall in love with a hero.-" It had become standard procedure for Draco to end their meetings in the same way each time "-I should be off to bed now I'll see you again I presume? Good night Fawkes."

The Phoenix watched Draco walk away with an air of melancholy, he had never realised the boy was so sad or so human. He, along with the world, had misjudged Draco and he was determined to right it but for now he felt the familiar burning sensation and relished in it, a burst of flames caused him to suddenly move from Dumbledore's tomb to the lakeside. At the lake he stood on his two legs, and digging in the bushes he pulled out some robes, quickly pulling them on to fight of the chill, the phoenix who was now human again trudged up the hill following the same path Draco took.

XXXX

"Try not to forget that your essays are due in on Monday," Professor Renny gazed at his obviously bored Seventh Year class "and you are performing your poems on Friday, so know them and know them well. Class dismissed."

There was a flurry of movement and Renny watched as the pairs made their way out of the class in various degrees of closeness and friendship, the only exception Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. He had been warned of their animosity and he had noticed that as the assignment progressed that they seemed to pull away rather than become closer.

Harry stood by the desk waiting for Draco to pack up, the blond seemed to be searching for something and he got more and more panicky when he couldn't find it.

"You all right, Malfoy?"

"Yes. No. I've lost my book," running a hand through his hair Draco's eyes were frantically moving from side to side covering all surfaces.

"What does it look like?"

Shooting Harry a confused look Draco sighed "it's a small black book with odd sized pages in it."

Harry dropped his bag, "okay." Walking to where the class' poetry books were he looked through them tossing aside the ones he didn't want, at the bottom of the pile there was a small black book with a gold feather sticking out of the top. Harry smiled at that.

"Malfoy, is this it?" He held up the book, careful not touch the feather he handed the book to Draco, "phoenix tail feather? I'm impressed, wouldn't want to lose that would you?"

Draco took the book from Harry and offered him a tight smile, "how do you know it's a phoenix tail feather?"

"I've been around Fawkes long enough to recognise them, that is until he disappeared."

"He disappeared?"

Harry shot Draco a curious look, "oh of course, you weren't here were you? Sorry, after Dumbledore died there was the 'Phoenix Lament' which was essentially Fawkes singing a sad song but it made us that mourned Dumbledore less unhappy, for want of a better word. After the song was finished Fawkes left, and he hasn't been back since."

Draco frowned, "oh."

A throat cleared behind them and the boys turned to find Renny watching them, Harry looked back at Draco and noticed how close they had become so he jumped back and flung his bag over his shoulder, "shall we?" He indicated at the door, waited for Draco to nod before he made his way, opening the door for Draco. And watching Draco's arse as he walked out was a bonus for Harry.

Together, they walked side by side but unfortunately every time they stopped somewhere to complete their essays it was taken by other Seventh Years or Sixth Years. Eventually Harry had enough and grabbed Draco's wrist "c'mon, I know just the place."

Walking quickly though the halls and down the grounds Harry pulled Draco along behind him, they reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest and Draco pulled back, "I'm not going in there."

Turning Harry saw the fear in Draco's eyes, "I know, I'm not taking us in there either, I figured we could go around the back of Hagrid's he won't mind."

Biting his lower lip Draco nodded before a mask of nonchalance slipped into place as he sauntered around the edge of the forest, Harry trailing behind, until they were standing behind Hagrid's cabin. Harry pulled a piece of square material from his pocket, enlarged it and sat down looking expectantly up at Draco waiting for him to do the same.

"I've got my poem Potter, so I –"

"So do I. I'm not confident in it yet, I mean I only heard it once but I should have it down pat by Friday."

"All right, essays it is."

 _...I believe love is sacrifice and I think he agrees with me, he just doesn't know it yet. I think that Draco Malfoy does not know how to love, not yet. I don't think I know how to love, not with the environment I grew up in otherwise I'd be saying all the time "cupboard, boy! No food for a week!" No I don't think that's love, that's not even hate it's simply pretending I don't exist. Malfoy is good at that, so maybe... maybe. I would like to learn how to love someone so fully that I could sacrifice myself and trust that they'd sacrifice themselves in return. I don't have any clue what romantic love is, the Weasley's and Hermione have taught me family love, Sirius and Remus- my friends platonic love, but romantic love? No, I haven't a clue but I want to learn..._ Harry re-read his essay before glancing at Draco who was staring off into space. Harry rolled up some extra parchment and threw it at him, "pay attention."

Draco looked at what he had just wrote, crossed it out and continued ... _I believe that Harry does not know how to love someone to the extent I love him, but I will show him. I will show him. Love is sex, I grew up in a home where affection, parental love, did not exist and I agree. Love really can't even be sex, can it? Not in a Pureblood home, we must marry as virgins and we must produce an heir, as father told me you have sex with your wife on your wedding night when they are menstruating if they are not pregnant then again the following month. Father told me he and mother only had sex once to conceive me, so I don't think love is sex. Honestly I don't know what love is, but I am willing to learn. I want to learn..._ Draco looked up from his essay to see Harry scribbling away at his.

After a couple of hours Draco stretched which distracted Harry who stood up, catching Draco's eye the two looked quickly away from the other before Draco asked quietly "have you finished? Do you need my opinion?"

"No, thanks I've finished."

The side of Draco's mouth curled up slightly then he made to reply but a wail resounded from in front of Hagrid's hut. Shoving his things haphazardly into his bag Harry ran around to the front of Hagrid's, Draco following at a more leisurely pace.

Harry ran around the side of Hagrid's hut find the man sitting on his front step and wailing mournfully. "I lost him 'Arry! I dunno where he's gone!" In between the sobs Draco sauntered around the side of the cabin and he stopped in his tracks as Harry frantically gestured for him to come over and help.

Eventually when Hagrid was too overcome with sobs to speak Harry moved closer to where Draco was standing and murmured "Fang is missing in the Forest and I told Hagrid I'd go look for him."

"Potter you can't just wander into the Forest! Especially when you're with me they'll think I sent you in there!"

Harry's smile calmed Draco, "so come with me."

Draco's eyes bulged out of his head as Harry walked away from him and into the Forest wand in front of him, torn Draco cursed under his breath before dropping his bag and withdrawing his wand and hastily following in Harry's footsteps until they were walking side by side.

Half an hour later, the two had been split up and Draco was wandering in the Forest alone when he heard a howl running in the direction of the noise, wand held aloft Draco came across an injured Fang, his hindquarters bloody and torn.

What made Draco stop was not the bloody and torn dog, it was the boy kneeling beside him face placed next to Fang's injuries and tears seeping out of his eyes. Draco was no expert but he was sure Fang would not die and he didn't understand why the boy was crying, until Fang's injuries seemed to heal themselves, the skin knitted back together and eventually the dog was jumping up and slobbering all over Harry.

"C'mon boy, let's get out of here shall we" Harry and Fang walked away from Draco and presumably towards the edge of the Forest. Watching them walk away Draco slumped against the nearest tree, he was completely confused what in Merlin's name was happening to Harry Potter. He went over what he knew in his head, which admittedly was not a large amount of information, and he thought about what all it could mean. Draco didn't realise that it had become dark outside of the Forest and he did know he was cold until he heard his name being called.

"Draco! Draco! Malfoy!"

Harry jerked his head to the left and he saw the beacon, Draco's hair, running towards it Harry stumbled on a root and fell into a solid chest glancing upwards Harry met amused grey eyes.

"All right there Potter?"

"Oh fuck Malfoy, do you know how worried we've been?"

Cocking an eyebrow Draco moved passed Harry sneering "you don't have to cry over me, I'm just a Death Eater. Well I appreciate you coming back for me but I can find my way out."

A hand on his wrist made Draco turn to face blazing green eyes, "you don't understand. It's nine o'clock you've been in here for six hours an-"

"SIX HOURS! You let me stay in here for six hours?"

Harry shrugged guiltily, "well I thought you'd come out straight after me, it wasn't until Pansy and Daphne came crying to me that you weren't anywhere to be found and I realised I hadn't seen you at dinner so I came here to look for you. You don't know how relieved I am you're not hurt."

Draco's lips curled upwards, "yes well most men who have been threatened with a bollocks-removing curse tend to hope nothing has happened to make it possible for Pansy to remove them."

They started walking back the way Harry came, Harry chuckled "she didn't threaten me with a bollocks removing curse, then again I was out of the library before she could finish her sentence so a threat may have been involved."

"Ah it was nice knowing you Potter I'll see if I can get Pans to wait until after our assignments are due, I don't want to have to fail because of her."

Harry sniggered "yes well I suppose girlfriends can be like that."

Draco looked sideways at Harry, and not before realising they were close to the edge a welcoming party waiting, "I wouldn't know, the only 'girlfriend' that has cost me marks was going out with the man I was seeing. Two-timing bastard, Pansy got rid of his bollocks too," Draco said this so matter-of-factly that Harry didn't know if he was joking or not.

Pansy and Daphne flew into Draco's arms as soon as he stepped foot out of the forest, Harry stood watching them Hermione in his arms and Ron standing beside them. Draco met Harry's eyes and inclined his head in a somewhat mocking manner, when Blaise came up and pushed the girls away hugging Draco as tightly as possible and pressing a kiss to his cheek, Draco swatted him away and turned to hug Mille and Greg before facing McGonagall.

"I really should punish you, but I am so relieved that you are safe that I shan't. Now, go before I change my mind. See Madam Pomfrey before bed as well Mr Malfoy."

Draco nodded, "thank you" before he, and the Slytherins made their way up to the school after a few steps Draco turned and sought out Harry's eyes and then Hermione's "are you lot coming? I thought we might have a midnight feast."

"At nine o'clock, Malfoy?"

"Yes but Granger you forget I missed dinner, so it's midnight to my stomach."

Hermione grinned and made her way towards them Harry and Ron in tow, so a group of Slytherins and Gryffindors made their way up towards the castle. McGonagall watched as they seemed to be putting the past behind them, and she saw Draco glance often at Harry who seemed to fidget under the Slytherin's scrutiny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. From www.short-love-poems.net


	3. Chapter 3

_"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways (1),_ " Harry tuned out Hermione's poem as she recited it perfectly, word for word her eyes continually flicking towards somebody in the class as she spoke. When she had finished the class dutifully clapped and Professor Renny called out the next pair to say their poems.

"Right now, we're on to Mr Potter and Mr Malfoy, Malfoy, if you please."

Harry watched as Draco rose elegantly from the seat next to Harry and sauntered up to the front of the class where he turned around and caught Harry's eye, never looking away as he spoke:

_"Why do I love you? By Roy Croft (2)_

_I love you,  
Not only for what you are,  
But for what I am  
When I am with you._

_I love you  
For ignoring the possibilities  
Of the fool in me  
And for laying firm hold  
Of the possibilities for good._

_Why do I love you?_

_I love you  
For closing your eyes  
To the discords –  
And for adding to the music in me  
By worshipful listening._

_I love you because you  
Are helping me to make  
Of the lumber of my life  
Not a tavern  
But a temple;  
And out of the words  
Of my every day  
Not a reproach  
But a song._

_I love you  
Because you have done  
More than any creed  
To make me happy._

_You have done it  
Without a word,  
Without a touch,  
Without a sign.  
You have done it  
Just by being yourself._

_After all  
Perhaps that is what  
Love means."_

When he had finished Draco took a deep breath and broke eye contact with Harry, the class had sensed something going on between the two and hesitatingly clapped for Draco who moved back to his seat, eyes on the ground and flush high on his cheeks.

Taking his cue from Draco, Harry rose and slowly made his way to the front, the class was quiet in anticipation of Harry's response to Draco's brave declaration. Harry bit his lip before glancing sadly at Draco, whose head was still down.

"I don't know who wrote this but I know they were muggle it is called Love and King(3)" Draco's head shot up and his gaze penetrated Harry who looked as though tears were welling in his eyes as he too maintained eye contact with Draco for the entirety of his poem:

_"Wish I could put it into words  
Tell you just what it is I feel  
Put my soul into a song  
Prove to you it's real_

_Oh life would be so simple  
With a heart made out of stone  
Then love, it wouldn't rule us  
Like a King sat on his Throne_

_Wish I could simply tell you  
Show you how I feel  
Take a chance on what feels right  
Prove to you it's real_

_Oh life would be so simple  
With a heart made out of stone  
Then love, it wouldn't rule us  
Like a King sat on his Throne_

_Heartache's one step from heartbreak  
I'm aching for you, my love  
Please don't break me."_

Sorrow was etched into Harry's features as he watched the hurt and betrayal appear in Draco's eyes before showing on his face. The class watched transfixed as Draco stood making his way towards the front of the class, and he turned to the right two rows before reaching Harry and he made his way to the door. As he opened it Harry gripped his arm, "Draco. Draco please-" pleading with Draco, Harry couldn't bear for the boy to leave without explaining but Draco had other ideas.

"Bastard!" Draco whispered, "you utter bastard!" When his voice broke Draco shoved Harry off him and ran out of the room, ignoring the footsteps behind him yet determined to outrun them Draco's vision began to blur and he fell into a heap by Dumbledore's tomb and the footsteps stopped soon after.

Lifting his blurry eyes to take in the form, he was surprised to find it wasn't Harry or even a Slytherin; Draco's tears came freely when Hermione's arms engulfed him.

"It's alright, sweetie, it's alright, let it go."

When Draco had calmed down a bit Hermione pulled back and wiped his cheeks, "I don't know what happened but I think you've put two and two together."

"He's a phoenix isn't he?"

Pressing her lips together Hermione nodded, "you thought he was Fawkes, yes? So did I even though logically it wasn't possible. And you told him things didn't you? The phoenix and now you know that it is Harry; I'm sorry Draco I truly am. He shouldn't have done that."

Draco smiled wanly at her, "thank you."

She hauled him up and brushed down his robes, which righted themselves with a whispered word and she took his arm "let us go to lunch."

"Oh no Hermione, I couldn't face him."

"I'm not asking you too, I thought I'd eat with the Slytherins today."

Draco smiled at her and unwrapping his arm from hers, Draco wound it around her shoulders as he dropped a kiss to her head "thank you."

They entered the Great Hall and Draco didn't need to look at the Gryffindor table to know Harry was watching him instead he walked with purpose to the Slytherin table and sat himself and Hermione between Pansy and Blaise, their backs to Gryffindor. Keeping his back straight and his composure under wraps Draco made it through lunch eating a minimal amount, before he, Hermione and Blaise stood to make their way to arithmancy.

They were in the Entrance Hall when Harry called out "Draco."

Stopping Draco didn't move, he didn't speak but Hermione did "I don't think so Harry. Not after what you did."

"Mione."

"You heard her Potter, move on." Draco turned to find the Seventh Year Slytherin's behind Potter and Weasley, Greg being the one that spoke. Harry looked lost and completely alone, his voice childlike and broke as he whispered "I'm sorry."

Draco said nothing but simply regarded Harry with cool grey eyes before he turned and made his way up the stairs Blaise and Hermione on either side, the other Slytherin's and Harry breaking off to go their separate ways.

Harry watched Draco walk away with complete composure seemingly unaffected, "he'll come around Harry."

Harry turned away from Ron to find Daphne at his elbow, "it doesn't matter. Not anymore."

"Do you love him Harry? Because I think you do, and then it matters."

The girl smiled and took his hand, "c'mon we've got Care of Magical Creatures now, and Hagrid will be upset if you're late."

With one last look at the stairs where Draco had disappeared, Harry let Daphne lead him outside of the castle and away from what he needed, who he wanted, Ron following loyally behind.

XXXX

"Fuck off Scarhead."

"Draco please-"

Draco smirked at Harry, who was looking gobsmacked, "what? What do you want?" Draco took a step forward and put his face near Harry's as he hissed "what part of me do you want that you don't already have?"

Harry said nothing and averted his eyes from Draco's face. Draco's smirk fell slightly and he moved back, his eyes cold "you're pathetic Potter." Harry slumped against the wall as Draco whirled around and stalked down the corridor, his robes billowing behind him.

"Are you alright Harry?"

"Huh? Oh yea I'm fine Lavender thank you."

"Are you sure? Cause Malfoy can be pretty mean, but he is gorgeous don't you think."

Harry glanced at her as she dreamily watched Draco walk away and he nodded, "yeah he sure is." Shaking his head Harry came back to himself as he looked at Lavender but she didn't appear to have heard him, as she continued to gaze at Draco's arse.

Daphne pushed in between Harry and Lavender, who looked disgruntled before Daphne took Harry's hand and dragged him away from Lavender in the same direction that Draco had taken.

"Harry we'll be late to train."

Harry frowned "I thought you were staying here, what happened?"

"Ron. He said I could come to the Burrow, is it? With him and you, Hermione said she was spending the first part with Blaise and the second bit with us. She said she would visit-"

Daphne stopped speaking quickly and they reached the staircase which lead into the Entrance Hall "visit who?"

"Er, her parents, on Christmas Day."

Harry didn't believe her but let it slide as they rushed down the steps to find Ron and Hermione and Blaise standing together, Millie, Pansy, Greg and Draco just off to the side other people milling around waiting for the carriages to appear.

Harry stopped at the sight of Draco and tugged on Daphne's arm "I didn't think he had anywhere to go."

"He's going to the Manor, it's his home."

"I mean I thought that his mother was in France," Harry frowned.

"She is, but Draco's going to the Manor."

"Won't he be lonely?"

Daphne shot Harry a pitying look, "Draco's always been lonely his parents may have loved him but they never really spent time with him. It took him a while to become friends with us, but he still gets lonely, especially now with Mille and Greg, Mione and Blaise, me spending more time with you and Ron and Pansy has Paige." Seeing Harry's confused look she elaborated, "she goes to Beauxbatons."

Dragging Harry forward Daphne stopped by Ron, Hermione and Blaise and let Harry go to hug Blaise goodbye, Draco glanced up and tugged on Pansy's sleeve "are you ready to go?"

Harry saw the look Pansy shot his way before she nodded, "hold on a minute Draco you're not leaving yet."

"Hermione."

The bushy haired girl pushed through the friends to Draco and she pulled him down into a fierce hug Draco wrapped his arms around his waist and buried his head in her hair. "You'll be ok yes?"

"Fine Hermione, I have work I need to do."

Reluctantly she kissed his cheek and let him go, watching sadly as he walked off to find a carriage, Daphne burst into tears and buried her head in Ron's chest. Even Millie looked tearful as Pansy shrugged and followed Draco.

Hermione glared at Harry before taking Blaise's hand. Breathing deeply Harry silently vowed that he would try to make the last few months of school as easy as possible for his friends, no matter what happened between him and Draco. Sighing Harry trudged after Ron and Daphne, towards the carriages feeling his mood perk up at the thought of going home to the Burrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnet 43
> 
> 2\. Roy Croft Why do I love you?
> 
> 3\. From http:/www.short-love-poems.net/ no name so I can't credit the author


	4. Chapter 4

It was Christmas Eve and Hermione was sitting in the kitchen of the Burrow staring despondently out the window, she couldn't stop thinking about Draco despite the cheerful atmosphere and the people around her she was worried. Draco was alone at Malfoy Manor no house-elves nobody to keep him company, he had said he needed to do work but she knew there were no assignments over the holidays so what was he researching?

Hermione wasn't aware of Daphne sitting down in front of her until the girl spoke "you're worried about him aren't you?"

Hermione jumped and looked at her "he's alone and I don't know, call it instinct but something doesn't feel right."

Daphne nodded, "I know what you mean. I think someone needs to go round there, just to make sure he's alright."

Hermione's mouth twisted into a grimace "tell Molly I'll be back before dinner."

XXXX

Stepping out of the floo at Malloy Manor Hermione shuddered as she remembered her last time there ignoring that she made her way to the grand staircase and called for Draco.

"Draco?" Hermione walked through the halls and tried to remember markers to find her way back, she continued to shout out for Draco getting worried as the Manor became darker both in the sense of less light and Darker objects and pictures. Jumping as a hand clenched around her upper arm Hermione whirled around to find Draco inches away from her, "what the fuck are you doing? You could get lost!"

Scoffing "I doubt I would get lost, I can use a point me spell, I remember how I got here."

Draco seemed angry, "no you'd get lost that doesn't work on people who don't know the Manor, trust me some Death Eaters went mad because they got lost, it's Dark magic Hermione, you don't go messing with it."

Hermione nodded and was still being dragged, Draco's death grip on her arm had her wincing in pain "Draco you're hurting me," he barely took any notice but his grip did relax. They came across two large wooden doors which Draco yanked open and shoved Hermione inside, pushing her into a comfy chair Draco let her go and began to pace, breathing heavily.

Hermione looked around and saw that she was in a well furnished library, the shelves up to the ceiling and receding into the darkness of the library. Turning back to Draco, Hermione took the chance to look him over his skin was paler than normal, dark bags under his eyes, and it looked as though he had lost weight.

"You've lost weight Draco."

He stopped and stared at her, unable or unwilling to say something "have you eaten? Are you eating?"

Draco swallowed and Hermione stood, "you've lost too much weight for a few days, so-"

"I wear a glamour, I can't sleep and I don't eat much Hermione, and I never have, not since-"

"Ah" Hermione nodded and pursed her lips "since Harry-"

"Yes," Draco bit out his eyes hard and narrowed "I think you should leave Hermione, you will be missed."

She nodded and embraced him "I'll see you soon ok Draco."

He guided her to the floo, "say 'Malfoy Manor Library' and you'll come here, don't worry I'll be here too I spend most my time here researching."

"Researching what?"

"His affliction. I told him I could help and it's not a fair life."

"Oh Draco, he doesn't deserve you."

Draco smiled bitterly and guided Hermione towards the fireplace, "Merry Christmas Hermione."

She flooed out with a sad smile, when she arrived at the Burrow Molly was in the living room, "Oh Hermione, Daphne said you'd be back before dinner and it's just as well you've got five minutes. Bill's put up some wards to keep the snow away and Charlie used one of his dragon charms to make it warm." Molly was rambling," and everyone's outside in the yard-"

Hermione had stormed out of the room and through the kitchen to the yard; she yanked Harry round in his seat and slapped him, hard. "You complete bastard! You don't know what you're doing to him do you! You betrayed him! You fuck with him and leave him to pick up the pieces!"

Ron came and dragged Hermione away from Harry, standing in front of her so she couldn't see him and he forced her to calm down. She looked up and saw the Weasley's looking at her as if she were crazy but Harry looked melancholic.

She watched but Harry did not appear remorseful, "Hermione-"

"You are a bastard Harry Potter, and you do not deserve him."

Hermione turned and walked into the house, seconds later they saw green sparks fly out of the chimney as Hermione flooed away from the Burrow.

Tumbling out of the floo Hermione looked up as Draco helped her off of the floor, "two visits in one day, my my don't I feel popular?" Hermione then started to cry, and Draco bundled her into a chair and stroked over her hair, "what is the matter? C'mon Hermione what's happened?"

"The bastard didn't care," Draco grimaced and clenched his jaw as he wrapped his arms around Hermione while she cried. Hermione calmed down soon enough and looked up into Draco's steady face "can we get something to eat?"

Draco nodded, "I guess you'll be here for Christmas dinner then?"

XXXX

Christmas at the Burrow was an odd affair, no George (he had decided to stay at his flat and no Hermione. Ron and Harry were left feeling rather despondent without the third part of their trio, the morning was quiet as they opened presents and exchanged thank-you's with various family members.

Mid-day Daphne asked to use the floo and asked Molly if she could bring two guests, if they wanted to come, Molly was ecstatic at the thought of more people to feed and encouraged Daphne to bring her friends along.

A while later Daphne came out of the floo, a tall blond male and Hermione following her. "where are we? Daph you haven't brought me to-" Draco caught sight of Molly and began to back away "oh no, no no no!"

"Draco, dear, it's ok."

"It's not that Mrs Weasley it's-" Daphne broke off as Harry and Ron came thundering down the stairs and into the kitchen. Draco and Harry stared at each other, Harry in disbelief either that Draco was there or that Draco was so thin, freaking Draco turned and ran out in the opposite direction and Daphne finished "it's that."

Molly stared after Draco "oh the poor dear he looks half starved to death, well you to ladies can help me take everything out to the table and Ron go out and get your father and Bill from the shed. Harry please go and get Draco and Charlie from the living room."

Harry's eyes widened and he ran out of the kitchen his face like thunder, bursting into the living room Harry saw Draco sitting by the fire, Charlie in the armchair opposite and Fleur on the sofa. All three clearly in conversation looked over at Harry who flushed, "uh, um dinner's ready."

Charlie smiled "thanks Harry," before he held his hand out to Draco and pulled him up and a little too close. Draco shied away from Charlie's touch and moved to escort Fleur "ah Draco you 'ave such good manners for an Eenglishman."

Draco smirked which threw his features into sharp relief enhancing his thin face and tired skin, Fleur sighed and laid her hand on Draco's arm which brought him into action and he led her away from the living room and out to the table.

Harry looked at Charlie, who was gazing at Harry expressionlessly, "stay away from him."

Charlie's eyebrows rose "I didn't know you cared for him, it sure doesn't look like it."

"He's more than a fuck to me, we both know that's all he'll ever be to you," Harry took on a fighting stance, legs shoulder width apart and arms crossed over his chest.

"Well maybe a little competition will be what you need to tell him that. Or maybe it'll make you back off," Charlie moved forward and stood right in front of Harry "what do you think Harry? Are you going to let the green monster take you over and claim him or will I have to do it for you?"

Harry growled and turned on his heel before stalking out of the room leaving Charlie to follow behind. Once outside Harry took the seat between Ron and Hermione, directly opposite Draco who was next to Fleur and on his other side Charlie had just slipped into the empty seat.

Next to Fleur was Bill and then Molly, next came Arthur at the head Ginny on his other side then Daphne who was between Ginny and Ron, Percy was at the other end of the table next to Hermione and Charlie.

As dishes were passed around and plates were filled Harry noticed Hermione signal to Charlie who talked to Draco and coerced him into eating more.

"Oh no more please Charlie."

"Draco, you've barely eaten. Now do I have to use one of my dragon tricks on you?"

Draco smirked "I hope not otherwise I'd question just how close you are getting to your dragons."

Laughing heartily Charlie wrapped an arm around the back of Draco's chair, "are you saying it's farily easy to get you to eat there just needs to be a pretty curvy lady underneath the food?'

"Oh sweet Merlin no! How could you suggest that?" Draco was horrified but flippantly and nonchalantly continued, "I'm saying there needs to be a taut, hard male underneath the food."

Charlie smiled seductively "does this said male have red-hair? Work with dragons?"

Draco opened his mouth to speak when the drinking glasses began to explode causing shrieks of worry from the women, looking up Draco saw Harry glaring at Charlie and Hermione frantically whispering to him "calm yourself down Harry! This isn't helping!" Charlie had sat back in his seat gazing calmly at Harry as he reclined with his arm over the back of Draco's chair.

Harry took steady deep breaths and saw the damage he had caused "oh god sorry Molly. I don't know what came over me!"

"Not to worry dear I think everyone was ready for pudding anyway." The dishes began to lift up and clear away as Molly ambled into the kitchen to bring out the puddings.

People turned back to their own conversations and Draco turned to Charlie who shrugged "I think he got jealous."

"Jealous of what?" A soft frown marred Draco's face.

"You, or rather me talking to you."

"I don't get it. I don't get him at all," Draco slumped in his seat and Charlie sat up causing them to get closer to each other and Charlie murmured to Draco so Harry couldn't hear.

"He likes you but he doesn't know how to tell you. Trust me he's protective and ready to hex any man who gets near you but he has no idea how to get near you himself. Can't you let him?"

"He's betrayed me once, fairly easily on his part it's hard to trust him in the first place but now?"

Charlie smiled and leant back talking at a normal volume "be that as it may, it's harder to keep going as you are. You're hand must be getting sore."

Draco flushed but didn't say anything as Molly had come out with the puddings and he was going to have to placate Charlie and eat some.

After dinner people went their separate ways; Ron and Daphne went up to Ron's room, Hermione led Harry away to the twins room so they could talk, Draco and Charlie stayed outside in the warded bubble talking, Bill and Fleur went home, Percy and Arthur were clearing up and Molly was sitting in the living room enjoying the radio.

Up in the twins room Harry was staring out the window down on Draco and Charlie, whilst Hermione sat on one of the beds patiently waiting for an outburst.

"What is it about him? I mean sure dragon keeping is exciting and he's good looking but Draco hates the Weasley's-"

"Yet he's here, and he's not here for Charlie."

Harry turned to glare at Hermione "well he is now."

"What I don't understand Harry is why you are so angry that Draco and Charlie are talking that's it. They haven't kissed and I doubt that they will Draco's too loyal to you."

"If he's loyal to me why is he with Charlie?"

"Because you betrayed him, and you broke his heart," Hermione gave Harry one last look before walking out of the room leaving Harry to stare out the window.

XXXX

"Thank you Mrs Weasley, I had a lovely time."

Molly frowned slightly and looked concerned, "oh Draco dear, are you sure you won't stay? We have the room, you won't be a burden."

He smiled shyly "it's alright I have work that needs to be done but thank you."

Pursing her lips together Molly gathered Draco into a hug and pushed him in the direction of the stairs "I'm sure you'd like to say good bye, go on."

Draco tentatively made his way up the stairs, to the top room where he knocked on the door that said 'Ron's Room' and waited until the red-head opened it.

"Oh, uhh what do you want Malfoy?"

"Is Daphne with you?"

Frowning Ron opened the door more and stood aside as Daphne moved forward and hugged Draco fiercely around the middle "you'll be alright on your own?"

"I've been alone more in my life than I have been with friends."

Daphne nodded solemnly and Draco dropped a kiss to her head, "be good don't do anything I wouldn't do" he winked at her as she entered Ron's arms. "You hurt her Weasley and I will come after you. Have a good New Years, and thank you for letting me stay."

Ron nodded and extended his hand which Draco took, "you're welcome, see you at school Malfoy."

Draco nodded once more and turned from the room on his way down he stopped at the room where Hermione was staying and knocked on the door. Hermione opened the door wide and Draco could see Harry standing by the window, he returned his attention to Hermione "have a good New Years Hermione."

"You're not staying?"

"I need to get back."

Hermione put one hand on her hip and pinched her lips together "get back to what?"

"You look scarily alike to Mrs Weasley," when Hermione didn't stop glaring he sighed "you know what. I have research to do."

"It's not your research."

Draco's eyes flickered towards Harry who was watching the interaction "I said I could help."

Letting out a deep sigh Hermione wrapped her arms around him and he embraced her as well "I'll keep in contact."

"Oh I know," Draco turned and halfway he paused looking back at Harry "I'll be seeing you Potter."

Leaving Hermione and Harry behind Draco made it down another flight of stairs when a door opened on his right, Charlie leaned against the doorjamb and smirked at him.

"Leaving without saying goodbye? That's not very nice."

Draco smirked and sauntered towards Charlie "well I thought it would be too hard for you."

Charlie laughed and Draco pretended to look affronted "see how you laugh at me? Oh what ever shall I do?"

Charlie took a step closer to Draco so they were inches away from one another when a noise on the stairs made them look; Harry was standing just above them looking murderous. Draco groaned and his head flopped onto Charlie's shoulder which caused Harry to turn away without a word.

"Oh why does this happen to me?"

Charlie hugged Draco before stepping away "that was my fault I'm sorry."

Shaking his head Draco held up his hand "no it wasn't, anyway I should go. It was nice to meet you Charlie."

"You too Draco, stay in touch yeah?"

Draco nodded before he smiled swiftly and headed downstairs where he thanked Molly again before flooing out.


	5. Chapter 5

A few days into the second part of the year after Christmas Break and tensions hadn't eased, Harry was staying away from Draco thinking that he and Charlie were together and Draco found it hard to be around Harry who had so easily broken his heart.

One evening, Harry was sitting the library with Ron and Daphne, at a table opposite where the rest of the Slytherins and Hermione sat going over homework. Draco looked at Hermione who nodded, before he put his hand in his bag and pulled out a heavy, old tome.

Draco made his way to Harry's table and dropped the book in front of him. Harry read the title Non-Animagi Transformations before looking up at Draco, confusion evident on his face.

"I told you I could help." Draco's voice and face were expressionless and he with that he walked away, dropping into his seat quickly.

Harry opened the book and flicked through the pages, when he found the pages on Phoenix transformations there was a phoenix tail feather there. Feeling a wave of sadness overwhelm him Harry couldn't stop his eyes from burning, or the lump forming in his throat. Harry slammed the book shut and glanced up at Draco who seemed to be ignoring him, but Hermione caught his eye and raised her eyebrow.

Harry sighed, closed his eyes and let his head fall back "c'mon Harry, mate. You need to get over him."

Harry looked at Ron "I can't, I – I just can't Ron." Harry stood to leave the library but Ron stood as well, blocking him. Daphne placed her hand on Harry's arm and knelt up on her chair.

"Harry, you need to talk to him. It's driving all of us crazy, please."

Sighing Harry looked down into Daphne's sincere brown eyes, "no I don't. I can avoid him for a few more months and then I won't have to see him again."

"You're not happy with that plan and neither are we, mate." Ron ran a frustrated hand through his ginger hair, "I've been talking with Hermione and Malfoy's just as bad as you, if not worse. You two need to talk, and soon."

Harry glared at Ron and hissed at him "traitor" before storming off, Ron looked at Daphne who shrugged despondently which cause Ron to wrap his arms around her. "It'll be alright sweetie, Mione said her and Blaise have a plan. We need to trust them and help ok?"

Daphne leaned up to press a kiss to Ron's lips, "I think I'm going to regret this but what do I have to do?"

XXXX

"Come on Drake! Can you please just be civil?"

"You know Greg I don't think I can," Draco's drawl carried down the corridor and into the room where Harry and Daphne were.

The small body beside him sniggered "trust Pansy to send Greg, he's the only one who can physically beat Draco. Stay here Harry."

Daphne walked out of the classroom just as Draco and Greg walked by it, Daphne instantly started simpering "oh Draco thank Merlin! I-"

"Leave it alone Greengrass. You've thrown in your lot with Potter and I want nothing to do with you or him."

"Too late" Daphne smirked as Greg pushed Draco through the open door way before slamming the door shut, Daphne quickly spelled it locked and warded with both boys inside.

Draco landed unceremoniously on his back and winced in pain "are you alright?" Harry's voice was tinged with concern.

Draco sneered and struggled to get up before he gingerly twisted from side to side to see what the damage was. "I can help you."

Draco shook his head "you don't give up, do you? I don't need your help I don't want your help, I can cope. I've had worse."

"Worse?"

Draco smirked "muscle cramps and joint stiffness are common effects of the Cruciatus Curse and I've had plenty of those."

Harry looked upset and took a step forward but stopped when Draco turned his back on Harry and began to bang on the door, "Greg! Daph? For fuck's sake let me out!"

"I don't think they're out there."

"I don't think I asked for your opinion."

Harry closed his eyes against the hurt feeling in his chest as Draco reached into his robe sleeve only to have his hand come back empty. "Where the fuck is my wand?"

Draco seemed desperate in his determination to find his wand, frantically Draco looked up and spoke to Harry "do you have your wand?"

Harry shook his head. Draco's breathing became shallow and his hands scrambled through the air to search for purchase on any surface, when the blood drained from his face, leaving him a stark white colour with blue tinted lips Harry rushed forward grabbing Draco around the waist and easing them to the floor.

Draco was in between Harry's legs, his back partially against Harry's chest whilst his hand rubbed in circles over Draco's back as he spoke in soothing tones telling Draco when to breathe in and out, trying to get him to hold his breath longer each time. After a few minutes colour appeared on Draco's lips making them full and red again. Harry continued to rub Draco's back who closed his eyes but that did not prevent a few tears leaking out the side.

"Sorry, I don't what come over me." Draco sat up and moved away from Harry who instantly regretted the loss.

"You had a panic attack Draco," Harry spoke softly and calmly so not to startle or embarrass Draco.

Draco leant back against the wall, still taking measured breaths, and closed his eyes "I know what happened Potter, there's a reason I always have my wand with me."

"Why?"

Eyes opened quickly and Draco stood walked to the window. For a long time he didn't say anything and Harry figured Draco was ignoring him until he spoke in such soft tones that Harry wasn't really sure what he was saying "after you took my wand, that day at the Manor. Well because the Dark Lord had been called he got there and you weren't, he was most displeased. Aunt Bella, ever loyal to him sold us out said I gave over my wand to help you as I was reluctant to identify you three, so he locked me in the dungeons. In my own home, I was a prisoner. Alone, wandless and helpless and there was no one to sneak in more food, or any at all, there was no one to rescue me," Draco's shoulders shook and his wet cheeks shone in the moonlight. "I- I needed to be saved and there was no hero, no one."

Harry felt immensely guilty, "oh Draco I'm –"

"Sorry? Is that what you're going to say? That you're sorry."

"Well yes," Harry was confused and frowning but Draco continued as if Harry hadn't interrupted him.

"Why would you save someone like me Potter? What good do I bring into this world? What is the point in saving a Death Eater? Hmm," when Harry didn't respond Draco whirled around, angry, "Oh so now you're quiet! They weren't rhetorical questions; why the fuck would anyone want to save a Death Eater? What good will it do? What good do I do?"

"Luna told me what happened when her and Mr Ollivander were in the Manor dungeons, she told me you brought them food, and did basic healing spells on them. You gave them light, you gave them hope even when you had none yourself."

"I had hope Potter, everyone had hope. And that was you, you were the hope for the thousands, you were hope for the masses, the half-bloods and the muggleborns. Why shouldn't you be hope for the purebloods too?"

"I never, I guess I never thought of myself as a reason for hope,

"You weren't the reason for hope, you were hope itself," Draco looked Harry in the eyes and the past few days seemed to come back to him and his eyes went hard, narrowing as his jaw clenched, "and look what hope is now, a liar. I suppose that's why you save Death Eaters, because you know we will lie, cheat, steal and blackmail, we are dishonest. And you can always trust that, but you Golden Boy, no one knows if you can be good and pure all your life and we know you lie and steal, but do you cheat? Blackmail?"

Harry swallowed heavily, and couldn't look at Draco who scoffed and sat down on one of the desks and stared straight ahead, seemingly intent on ignoring Harry. Harry sighed and put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the gold feather from his phoenix tail, running the feather over his cheek Harry watched Draco.

The feather soon begun to warm up and Harry dropped it in surprise with a yelp which caused Draco to turn and see Harry become engulfed in flames.

"Harry!" Draco felt incredibly foolish for his moment of panic as Harry became a phoenix before his eyes, he had for some reason forgotten about that and it terrified him to think Harry was in pain.

The phoenix flew towards Draco and brushed his head against Draco's leg causing Draco to flood with warmth, "get off. Just because you're a bird doesn't mean I'll forgive you Potter."

To Draco's surprise and Harry's great shame tears leaked out of the phoenix's eyes, Harry didn't understand why. He only cried when something, someone needed healing and the only person to heal was Draco. And Draco was perfectly healthy, wasn't he?

Sitting back down on the desk Draco tried to ignore the Harry-phoenix and he continued to stare at the wall mentally reciting the ingredients and methods for Potions. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice it when the Harry-phoenix laid its head against Draco's thigh.

Harry radiated his phoenix magic through Draco's body trying to find what he needed to heal, it had been niggling at him until he finally approached the blond laying his head gently onto Draco's thigh. Harry was immediately comforted by the blond's warmth and heat and smell, but he concentrated hard on his magic and found it was not a flesh wound so Harry pushed his magic deeper and the door opened as he found what he was looking for.

Draco jumped up off the desk and ran past Hermione, Blaise and Pansy all tried to stop him but he just kept running, so they turned to look into the room where there was a burst of flame and Harry sat looking stunned on the floor.

Hermione rushed to his side, Blaise and Pansy reluctant to approach, "what happened Harry?"

"I- he- he needs to be healed."

Hermione nodded wearily, "ok you can do that right?"

Harry shook his head, he had no idea how a phoenix could heal a broken heart.

XXXX

I did what you said, I trusted him I told him things about the War and nothing has happened. It's been a week, what do I do now Charlie?

~Draco

Draco sighed and attached the letter to his regal eagle owl and watched as he flew off into the grey clouds. He heard a noise behind him that wasn't a ruffling of feathers, or hooting so he turned to find Harry standing there.

"That's a nice owl."

"Thank you, his name is Cerberus."

Harry frowned, "isn't that the dog that guards hell?"

Chuckling Draco turned fully and leant back against the window, "in essence. Cerberus, the hound, is usually a three headed dog who guards the gates of Hades, or hell, he prevents the spirits from escaping through the River Styx. Cerberus traditionally has three heads each seeing the past, the present or the future" Draco paused as Harry looked at him strangely "but I'm rambling. Sorry."

Harry offered a tentative smile "don't be sorry, it interests you."

An awkward silence descended over the Owlery as Draco watched Harry coax an owl down and sent her off through the same window Draco let Cerberus out. "So where'd Cerberus go?" Seeing Draco's confused look he elaborated "the owl?"

"Oh, right I was going to say the hound never left Hades. The owl, he's off to Romania."

Instantly Harry stiffened and looked away as he bit out, "still in touch with Charlie then?"

"Yes, he's my friend. And, he's helping me."

"With what?"

Glancing over at Harry, Draco was weighing whether to tell him or not "he's helping me with, well I don't know how to say this." Harry turned and faced Draco front on as Draco took a deep breath "you see Charlie, he's helping me with- with this," Draco took a step closer and pressed his lips to Harry's, it was brief and beautiful.

But Draco pulled away first without looking at Harry he turned and ran from the Owlery, ignoring Harry calling his name.

When Draco had left the Owlery as though Fiendfyre was chasing him, Harry turned back and slumped down onto the floor head tilted towards the ceiling. His mind was racing, Charlie was helping Draco with Harry? Harry wasn't sure what was going on but he knew that he needed to talk to Draco, but first he had to get him alone.

XXXX

A few days after the Owlery incident, Harry arrived at the table for breakfast to find a regal looking owl sitting there.

"What's it doing?"

"It's for you Harry," Lavender seemed to be in awe of the owl and she giggled as Harry reached out to take the note, the owl still didn't leave.

Frowning Harry unrolled the parchment as Ron and Hermione sat down opposite him, asking about the owl but Harry was too caught up in the note to pay any attention.

_Harry,_

_The owl's name is Himeros, I thought it was an appropriate name, I know he's not as beautiful as Hedwig but he's regal and steadfast._

_I hope you like him._

_Himeros: Greek God of unrequited love. He is a son of Ares and Aphrodite and is part of a group of demi-gods called Erotes. He creates desire and lust in people and is depicted with a bow and arrows. Basically he is cupid, and I think I was hit by one wayward arrow, but I live in hope that Anteros will right this._

The note wasn't signed but Harry knew, he reached out a finger and stroked Himeros the bird cooed under his touch and nibbled at Harry's finger while his green eyes sought out the tell-tale blond hair of the Slytherin table.

Sighing when he couldn't spot Draco, Harry turned his attention back to his friends who were staring at him expectantly. "It- He's a gift, his name is Himeros."

Ron shrugged and Hermione smiled, after a while Harry asked "Hermione, who's Anteros?"

"I don't know Harry."

"Ask Malfoy mate, he's really into that Ancient God shit," Ron said around his bacon.

"You know what Ron I think I might just do that," Harry scrambled around to find his bag before he spoke to Himeros "go up to owlery and sleep I'll get you if I need you to deliver a message."

Himeros hooted and flew off as Harry ran out of the Great Hall and luckily straight into Greg. "Ah, sorry Greg where's Draco?"

"Why should-"

"Library."

Harry smiled at Daphne and ran off hearing the reprimands she was getting from the other Slytherins. At the library Harry entered and walked deeper in until he saw Draco sitting at a back table, breathlessly Harry approached.

"Hi."

Draco's head shot up and he stared at Harry in disbelief, "what- what are you doing here?"

Harry bit his lip and dropped his bag "I came to thank you, first for the book it's helping and I can control the transformations somewhat, so if I keep working I'll just be an animagus. And secondly, he's beautiful Himeros, I don't think I've met an owl with such a distinct personality before." Harry had walked up towards Draco and was now standing next to him, "thirdly I wanted to ask who is Anteros?"

Draco tilted his head back and looked into impossibly green eyes "he's the god of requited love, avenger of unrequited love," Draco whispered and Harry licked his lips "I'm assuming there's a 'fourthly'?" Draco's voice was breathy and quiet.

Harry nodded and spoke with a confidence he didn't quite feel, "yes I need to return this," Harry cupped the back of Draco's head and kept it tilted up towards him as he leaned down sliding his lips over Draco's. Draco's bottom lips was being sucked inside Harry's mouth and Draco took the opportunity to return the kiss and he sucked Harry's top lip.

They continued kissing breaking apart only when they were short of breath, Harry resting his forehead against Draco's gazing into his grey eyes. "Merlin I've wanted to do that for a while Dray."

Draco smiled softly, without a hint of sadness, "not as long as I have, Nix."

"Nix?"

Harry's lips quirked and Draco swatted him "yeah like Phoenix I thought it was appropriate."

Harry laughed at Draco's petulant pout, "thank Merlin I thought it might have been the name of a god or something."


	6. Epilogue

Summer started to make its presence known throughout Hogwarts and exams were taken and final preparations were made before people left Hogwarts for the year; and a select few forever. Harry and Draco's relationship had taken the backseat as they prepared for their NEWT exams. They studied together and with their friends but there was nothing more than a few stolen kisses in one of Hogwarts' many dark alcoves.

On the final day of the year Harry was standing in his dorm, the beds had all been stripped of their covers, the hangings pulled back and the room bare of any personal items of the five boys that had been living there for the past seven, well eight, years.

"It doesn't feel right does it?"

Harry didn't turn around, he knew Hermione's voice and he knew that if he did turn she would have had tears in her eyes and that would mean he would too.

"Leaving? No it doesn't feel right. I mean what do we do now? Where do we go from here?"

She wrapped her arms around him and Hermione rested her face against his shoulder blade "I don't know Harry, I – it's hard. I can't answer your questions."

"I can't either Mione."

She chuckled, the movement caused his shirt to shift and he felt the wet material slide against his back, "not yet you can't anyway."

"Will you two get a move one and stop being sentimental?"

They turned to find Ron standing in the doorway, his blue eyes bright as he looked at his best friends "it's all going to change now isn't it?"

Hermione nodded "it won't be so bad it'll just be-"

"Different."

Ron and Hermione nodded at Harry who took one of Hermione's arms in his and Ron moved forward to take the other, arm in arm the three friends left the Gryffindor Tower behind them and eventually the castle as they made their way out to the carriages where their friends were waiting, also looking subdued.

"You didn't want to leave either huh?"

Hermione moved from Harry and Ron's arms and into Blaise's, he rested his head on hers and held her close. Daphne immediately took up the empty space in Ron's arms, his went around her shoulders and hers around his waist.

Strong arms wound tightly around Harry's waist and he leaned back into Draco's lean chest, Draco was the taller of the two and he rested his head on Harry's broad shoulder which brought his mouth close to Harry's ear. "You okay, Nix?"

Harry breathed in deeply, "I think so just not sure I'm ready to leave."

Draco smiled as he tugged on Harry's earlobe with his teeth "neither am I but you could come back with me."

Harry turned in Draco's arms "what do you mean?"

"Depending on my NEWTs I'll be coming back in September to apprentice to Slughorn. McGonagall mentioned that he wanted to retire. Again. And she said that I could teach when he does," Draco shrugged "not many people will hire me anyway. The Malfoy name is somewhat less than mud."

Harry kissed his cheek and buried his head in Draco's neck, "so why would I come back?"

"She happened to let slip that the Defence Professor is also leaving. Or if you don't want to teach defence she can shift Renny there and you could take on the esteemed title of 'general studies professor'."

Harry chuckled and placed wet kisses up Draco's neck, feeling him shudder "I think I might just do that. I don't think I could be away from you for so long, it's also easier for me to transform here the magic keeps me healthy and I don't burst into flames; die and live again."

Draco titled his head and brushed his lips against Harry's "you've already died and lived again Nix, twice. Oriens Ex Cinere."

Their lips met completely and they kissed with a passion that had been lacking over the past few weeks. Both were panting when they broke apart Draco rested his forehead on Harry's and kept his eyes closed, "what does Oriens Ex Cinere mean, Draco?"

"Come on you two, we'll miss the train if we don't hurry!"

They pulled away from each other and moved over to their friends, they clambered into one of the last carriages and they all stared greedily out the window for one last glimpse of home and as Hogwarts passed Draco pressed his lips to Harry's neck just behind his ear and whispered "Oriens Ex Cinere. That's what we're doing Nix, rising from the ashes."


End file.
